Figures & Calculations
by PaigePussgurka
Summary: No figures could have prepared Kyoya for what awaited him. No calculations that would lead him to this. This feeling that was waiting in the wings to consume him. Yaoi & KyoKao. Rating may change. Beware the large vocabulary ;D
1. Confusion

**_No figures could have prepared Kyoya for what awaited him. No calculations that would lead him to this. This feeling that was waiting in the wings to consume him._**

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Confusion

Kyoya sighed. Tamaki had overthrown the budget again. _'That dumb ass.'_ Kyoya thought as his slender fingers flew agilely across the keys of his laptop. "What did the Boss screw up this time?" asked a soft voice. Kyoya was startled, but kept up his usual facade and his momentary lapse in nonchalance went unnoticed. Although he'd been taken by surprise, Kyoya knew that voice and knew who was now looking over his shoulder. He reached up to lightly push the bridge of his glasses up his nose. "He surpassed the budget for the month." he said coolly. The person over his shoulder nodded. "Now, did you have an particular reason for coming over to speak with me, Kaoru?" he asked, his eyes never leaving the screen of his laptop. Kaoru laughed lightly and said, "No reason. Just thought you looked tense." "Hm." Kyoya replied then went back to typing.

After a while Kyoya turned his glance on Kaoru who still looked over his shoulder. "Shouldn't you be leaving?" Kyoya asked coldly just before Hikaru called, "Kaoru! Come on!" Kaoru stood straight, slipping his hands under his jacket and into his pockets in a very Hikaru like way, and shouted, "Coming Hikaru!" Then he turned to leave. Kyoya's eyes bored into his back but Kaoru acted as if he didn't take any notice. As the doors to the third music room shut behind the notorious twins, Kyoya returned to his work. Club members left one by one until he was alone. After finishing a few final calculations, Kyoya packed up his things and headed for the door. He couldn't keep his mind off his and Kaoru's little encounter earlier that day. He also couldn't help but feel as if he'd upset Kaoru by being so cold. Although his mind was racing, his face stayed perfectly withdrawn as he walked through the halls of Ouran Academy and still as he climbed into the sleek black limo waiting for him. _'Why do I feel so guilty about shrugging him off like that? I do the same thing to everyone else so why is this time different? It's just Kaoru. He's extremely insignificant. He plays a small part in the Host Club. It's not like I have any merits to being kind to him.'_ Kyoya sighed. He felt so confused.

He couldn't get anything done. He couldn't pay attention and was now being counterproductive. "Fuyuminee-san, stop rifling through my drawers. I'm really not in the mood to deal with your crap." he grumbled. His sister looked at him, surprised. "What's the matter?" she asked, her forehead creasing with the maternal instinct of worry. "Nothing." Kyoya said, following a pretense of writing in his notebook. Fuyumi was over him in an instant. "You know that I know you better than that." She said disapprovingly. Kyoya shrugged. Fuyumi was now giving him daggers with her eyes. "Fine. It's just something that happened at the club today. That's all." he said, feigning nonchalance. Fuyumi sat on the spotless, white couch and stared Kyoya in the eye. "Tell me." she demanded. Kyoya sighed, realizing he was going to have to tell her at some point or another.

The sheets of the twins' bed billowed as Kaoru fell back onto them. He was feeling oddly rejected by receiving the cold shoulder from Kyoya. Yet he didn't necessarily know why. Kyoya was the Shadow King after all. This was normal. He didn't even know why he'd been drawn to Kyoya in the first place. Sure, his shoulders had looked tense as if he was irritated by something but Kaoru knew he'd had no good excuse as to why he'd gone over to see what the source of the older boy's irritation was. Kaoru had always been good at reading people. Seeing as he was the less ostentatious Hitachiin, he paid more attention to a person's body language then their words. So he'd often noticed when Kyoya became more rigid. The raven haired boy thought he put up a flawless front but if one paid enough attention they would notice the cracks. What was also odd was how Kaoru had been more attuned to Kyoya's little falters lately. Still, he had no idea why. So deep in his thoughts was Kaoru that he only minutely noticed as Hikaru sat on the edge of the bed. "You look like you're trying to solve a math problem." he joked. Kaoru rolled his eyes and sat up. "I'm just thinking. Although I know it's very difficult for you understand and recognize something you've never done." he answered. Now Hikaru rolled his eyes. "Whatcha thinkin' about?" Hikaru asked. Kaoru knew how overprotective Hikaru could be and if he told him he was thinking about Kyoya...well Hikaru would jump to conclusions and go attempt to beat up the Shadow King. And Kaoru wouldn't be having that. So he simply replied, "Mori-senpai and Hunny-senpai. I'm wondering what we'll do when they graduate." Hikaru had either bought the calumny or simply knew that Kaoru didn't want to tell him the truth. So the elder Hitachiin nodded then entered his own thoughts. Once sure Hikaru was sufficiently distracted, he let his mind wander back to Kyoya as he tried to pin down the answers to his earlier behavior.

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**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the OCs used (which there aren't any at this point)

**A/N:** Yay! The start of my first Yaoi fanfic! And it's my favorite Ouran couple: Kyouya & Kaoru! *fangirl scream*


	2. Envy

**Disclaimer: **I do not own OHSHC.

**A/N:** This one's a bit longer and sorry for the long wait. :)

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Envy

The cherry oak desk shuddered violently as Kyoya's fist came down on it with chagrined force. It was 5:33 in the morning and he hadn't gotten a single bit of work done. All because of that damn Kaoru. He couldn't focus. Every time he had been able to gather his scattered thoughts, a mental video of Kaoru walking away from him shoved it's way to the forefront of his mind. It displayed itself at regular intervals as well. And the more he thought of it, the more abashed he felt. Even when Kyoya had attempted to sleep, the memory still lurked around his mind. He slammed the lid of his laptop closed and stood. He began pacing in tight circles around the middle of his room

"At the Host Club today, I'll just have to observe him. See if he was affected by my abrasiveness. Then I will make the decision from there whether or not I should apologize." Kyoya finally agreed. By now it was about 6:30 in the morning. That was his cue to get ready for the school day ahead. Unlike that idiot Tamaki, he to actually try succeed past his father's expectations while trying not to step on his older brothers' toes.

Kaoru, having woken up abnormally early, was already fully dressed and was now stumbling over his tie. Oddly enough, Hikaru was much better with ties and the like than Kaoru had ever been. Yet Hikaru was probably going to oversleep again. The closer they came to approaching summer break, the longer his (slightly) elder brother slept in. And they had but two months remaining before then. Kaoru sighed and settled with his messily done tie as he tucked it inside the uniform blazer. Now he had lots of extra time on his hands. That was never good for Kaoru. He always ended up thinking of things he'd rather avoid. Like the fact that Hikaru was slowly becoming an individual entity where he and Kaoru had always seemed one in the same. The fact that one day, much too soon, he would be alone and Hikaru would be off with someone. But then his thoughts connected something. He had observed the Host Club enough to know a few things. One day, Tamaki would realize his feelings for Haruhi and they would most likely end up together. One day, Renge would end up falling for either Hikaru or Mori-senpai even if she said she preferred Kyoya. More likely Hikaru as he had noticed lately. She always seemed so put off by their brotherly love act (usually glaring at Kaoru specifically) but didn't mind as much when Mori-senpai and Hunny-senpai performed their acts. Kaoru's thoughts continued. Mori-senpai and Hunny-senpai would easily be able to find someone but they always had each other. They would graduate soon anyway. So then, he realized, if the Host Club split it would be: Tamaki & Haruhi, Renge & Hikaru, Mori-senpai & Hunny-senpai. Then with Renge in a relationship and Tamaki in a relationship, Kyoya would be alone. No stalker and no best friend, no matter how much he avoided admitting it. And Kaoru knew he would probably be alone as well because he had no Haruhi or Hikaru. So maybe, just maybe, he could keep Kyoya some company. At least be there so he didn't feel alone. He knew damn well that Kyoya was already alone. He isolated himself. Each time he opened his heart, it just came back to bite him in the end. He'd surrounded his heart in ice and surrounded himself with shadows. From that point on, Kaoru became determined to win his latest game against himself. He would find his way through the shadows and break through that ice. Just so he could turn around and shatter his senpai's heart. It was a cruel game, but it was what he and Hikaru usually did.

Obsidian eyes that were hidden behind a sheet of glass had themselves focused on the front of the classroom. A slender finger reached to push the bridge of the glasses up an equally slender nose. The second the bell rang a shout came. "Kyoya! I have an idea for the next Host Club cosplay!" Tamaki Suoh. Kyoya knew his voice all too well. The blond annoyance never ceased to truly push his accounting skills. "What is it Tamaki?" He asked in an autonomous tone, the same obsidian eyes shifting to look at the eccentric boy.

"We can dress like common Americans!" Tamaki exclaimed. Kyoya raised an eyebrow. "Mori-senpai would make the best...er...what are they called? Oh yeah! 'Gangster'!" Tamaki gushed. The raven haired boy sighed. Tamaki's latest excursion would definitely cost them a good million yen for each costume. But the twins could always ask their mother to do some for a discount. Or the twins could do it themselves. That was definitely an alluring idea. Also if he found he should apologize to Kaoru, he could always ask him to stay later after the Host Club closed and have his excuse be that he wanted Kaoru to start on a few costumes. Yes. That was what he would do.

The day had gone by in a blur for Kaoru. Maybe because he'd been anticipating starting his game. Or maybe just seeing Kyoya-senpai in general. But he would never admit that. It was just a game. Nothing more. Yet now, as he walked beside Haruhi and Hikaru, he felt anxious. He opened the door to the club room and found Tamaki was prancing about. Then he came to stand in front of Haruhi. "Haruhi! We're going to dress like common Americans!" he gushed. "I'd rather not Senpai." she said, her voice acidic. Almost immediately My Lord went to his corner of woe and began tending to his mushrooms. This was all just a side observation of Kaoru as we was already walking toward Kyoya. The vice president sat at his desk like any other day, typing away at his laptop. Before he got too close, Kaoru's eyes scanned over the older boy. Checked his body language. The muscles in his neck and shoulders were placid and poised for the most part but there was the slightest, anxious twitch there every few seconds.

"You seem anxious." Kyoya looked away from the computer screen at these words. Kaoru now looked over his shoulder the same as he had yesterday. "Kaoru." he acknowledged the boy's presence then returned to his work. "Are you?" Kaoru continued to press. "Not by any means." he answered coolly. "I'm not buying your frontage Kyoya-senpai." Kaoru said. _Damn this boy sent to torment me._ Kyouya thought, his face staying completely placid. "Then what do you want?" Kyoya asked, working so that it would not come out in a hiss. "I want you to tell me what's wrong." Kaoru said. _Is he just feigning vexation? Or is he really concerned?_ Kyoya questioned within his mind.

"I'm magnificent." Kaoru could tell Kyoya was lying. _Trying to get though to him is going to be harder than I expected._ Kaoru thought. "If you feel like telling the truth, I'll be over with Hikaru." he said, stalking off. Kyoya sighed. Something odd burned at the bottom of his cold-blooded, glacial heart. He felt a sudden sharp dislike toward Hikaru. _Is this envy? No. I have no feelings toward Kaoru of any kind. So why would I care if he's with Hikaru instead of myself?_ He thought to himself.


	3. Guilt

**A/N:** Sorry I haven't added anything in so long. I just haven't had much inspiration. Hope you all still want to read. *ish sorry* :)

**Disclaimer:** OMG! Guess what?! I still don't own The Host Club! (But I wish I did T.T)

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Guilt

As the day continued, Kaoru avoided Kyoya. At least in theory. He was constantly glancing at the elder boy. "_Tempt him Kaoru! Come on!" _The red-head encouraged himself. And idea formed in his mind. He smirked then composed himself. He stood, excusing himself from his and Hikaru's table. He walked toward the restroom which was past Kyoya's desk. He slipped his hands into his pockets and walked at a relatively slow pace. His face was a calm facade until he came past Kyoya. The raven-haired boy looked at Kaoru, pausing in his work and Kaoru could read the slight guilt in them. Perfect. With excellent, utterly believable acting Kaoru looked back at Kyoya for a second before releasing a small "humph" and quickly looked the other direction. Kyoya sighed as the object of his fixation disappeared into the restroom.

This little sequence of events did not go unnoticed by Hikaru. His eyes narrowed slightly. "_What's going on with those two? I swear, if that damn Shadow King did something to upset Kaoru..". _The elder twin's thought trailed off.

"Now just do it again, Kaoru. But look all depressive this time." Kaoru pep-talked himself. He came back out of the bathroom. His gaze connected with Kyoya's again but this time he made himself up to look like a hurt child looking at the ground instead of looking away. Kyoya frowned as he felt a tug within his numb, petrified heart. "_I suppose I should apologize..._ He concluded, but was quick to defend his abrasive dignity, _Yet only for the sole purpose of keeping this godforsaken club from partition."_

Hikaru noticed Kaoru's melancholic expression. "_Okay. It's on. I __**will**__ find out what you did, Kyoya-senpai, and I__** will**__ punish you for it_!" He decided then after a moment thought, "_Damn, I sound like that Sailor Moon cartoon."_

Time seemed to move deliberately unhurried while Kyoya waited to speak with Kaoru. The Host Club closed and almost immediately Tamaki hurried out, pushing an irked Haruhi. With a huge smile Hunny danced out of the room bellowing about all different sorts of confections. Mori was, as always, stoic. Hikaru, Kaoru, and Kyoya lingered.

"Kaoru, may I speak to you for a moment?" The eldest boy of the group called to the younger of the twins. "Actually, I would like to speak to you first if you don't mind, Kyoya-senpai. In private." Hikaru said. Kaoru, confused, waited out in the hallway.

Hikaru turned to the raven-haired boy. "What's going on between you and Kaoru?!" he demanded. Kyoya pushed his glasses further up his nose then replied, "Not a thing, I assure you. I'd simply like to ask of him a favor." Hikaru looked suspiciously at the upperclassman. "Watch yourself." Were the red-head's parting words. He walked out toward the awaiting limo. Kaoru slipped inside.

"Kaoru." Kyoya said simply. The slight-framed boy walked over to the much taller male. "Yes, Kyoya-senpai?" Kaoru asked, making is voice sound sad and also not looking Kyoya in the eye. "About our encounter yesterday, I would like to apologize for being so impudent." Kyoya said, feeling some of the guilt fall from his shoulders. Kaoru couldn't resist the soft smile that now graced his lips. _"How easy it would be,"_ Kyoya thought to himself, _"To cause those soft, perfect lips to smile."_ But then he cursed himself inwardly, _"What the hell am I thinking? This is Kaoru! He's of no importance to me!"_

"I forgive you Kyoya-senpai." Kaoru said in a tone that was as soft as his smile. His arms laced themselves around Kyoya upon their own accord. _"Th-This is just p-part of the game. Y-yeah. Definitely."_ Kaoru told himself. A fire began to burn deep within Kyoya's stomach. He leaned away from the embrace. "I advise that you return to your brother before he gets too suspicious." said the raven-haired boy.

This dismissal hit Kaoru hard. _"This isn't a game!"_ he argued with himself, _"No it is a game!" _Yet the younger boy nodded and morosely walked out the door. Kyoya's just loss guilt quickly came back in tenfold. "Dammit." he mumbled to himself as he packed his things.


	4. Indecision

Indecision

Hikaru was long gone and the limo had yet to return to pick Kaoru up. The boy sighed. "Damn. I thought I knew this was a game..." he mumbled. But he had felt it. Felt his heart gain a tear when Kyoya rejected his embrace. With another sigh he positioned two little ear buds in his ears and pressed the power button on his small mp3 player that could still hold over 2,000 songs. He went to the band Silversun Pickups and played the song "Lazy Eye". The limo pulled up a moment later and he climbed into the back. He stared out the window as trees and fences flew past his eyes. He felt numb as the song played.

"_I've been waiting...  
__I've been waiting for this moment...__  
All my life...  
But it's not quite right..._

_And this 'real'...  
__It's impossible if possible...__  
At who's blind word...  
So clear but so unheard..._

_I've been waiting...__  
I've been waiting for this silence...__  
All night long...  
It's just a matter of time..._

_To appear sad...  
__With the same old decent lazy eye...__  
Fixed to rest on you...  
Aim free and so untrue..."_

At the same time, Kyoya sat in the back of his own family's limo. He stared forward with a blank expression. His mind was racing inside to find a way to rid him of the overbearing guilt. His frozen – yet thawing due to his guilt over Kaoru – heart throbbed slightly and told him to make it up to Kaoru. His mind couldn't come up with any way to go about that but his heart already knew. He sighed internally. He glanced at the time on the dashboard. It was slightly difficult to see it as he was quite far back from it but he could make out the numbers enough to have a vague idea of the time. It was still early. Now to plan.

Kaoru's eyes slid closed as the driver stopped, he did not sleep. He simply took a deep breath and opened his golden eyes again. He slid out of the car and walked stealthily toward one of the guest rooms so that Hikaru wouldn't give him a 20-Question run through. He slipped inside and locked the door behind him. Kaoru laid across the bed, the ear buds still tucked into his ears.

"_Lost and loaded!  
__Still the same old decent lazy eye!__  
Straight through you're gaze!  
That's why I said I relate  
!I said we relate!__  
It's so fun to relate!"_

A knock came on the door downstairs but Kaoru couldn't hear it. A maid answered it. "Hello, how may I help you?" she said in a soft tone. "I would like to speak with Kaoru if you don't mind." came a polite yet impatient voice. The maid was unnerved at the way the setting sun glinted off the person at the door's glasses. "Of course. One moment." the woman said. She pressed a button that was mounted on some device that was set into the wall to the right of the door. "Master Kaoru, someone is here to speak with you. Please come downstairs." she said into the device.

After a short wait, Kaoru came downstairs. His blank eyes went to look at the person in the door. They sparked to life when he recognized the person. Kyoya. Almost immediately, his golden orbs were fixed on the ground. The maid bowed slightly to both boys then hurried out of the room. Kaoru tried to disguise the anguished expression that washed over his face. Kyoya sighed and grasped Kaoru's wrist. The sun had just disappeared over the horizon as Kyoya pulled Kaoru outside. Caught of guard, the younger teen looked up at the raven haired teen before him. But when Kyoya turned and met his gaze, he looked at the ground again. Kyoya was silent for a moment, warring with himself inside. _"Screw it."_ he thought to himself.

Kaoru's eyes became incredibly wide and his cheeks turned bright red as Kyoya's lips pressed against his. They were firm yet soft; confident yet indecisive; terrifying...yet addicting. Acting on impulse, Kaoru allowed his eyes to slide shut. But before he could do anything else Kyoya pulled back and away. The piercing eyes of the elder boy were what Kaoru was now slightly afraid to meet with his own eyes. For he always got lost in their dark, obsidian depths. And although Kyoya kept a well learned facade, Kaoru could see in his eyes how guilty he had felt and now how free he felt. But the cold fronted young man would never show either emotion.

"I suppose I'll see you tomorrow." Kyoya said. He pushed the bridge of his silver framed glasses further up his nose. Then with that, he turned and got into his limo was was not too far away. Kaoru's eyes stared after the sleek black vehicle as it drove off. Once it had disappeared, his fingers went to touch his lips.

"Kyoya-senpai..."


	5. Buoyancy

**A/N:** Sorry for such a long hiatus. Ahhh, I missed this story. But I hope you guys will like this. Thanks! I love you all! *kisses* :D

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Buoyancy

Kaoru laid in the same guest room as aforementioned for the remaining daylight hours and into the night. He thought of Kyoya and his...encounter. He blushed at the thought. His ear buds were once again tucked into their rightful place. At the moment he was listening to the song "Call Me" by In This Moment (Originally by Blondie). He had to admit he enjoyed American music.

"_Call me! On the line!_

_Call me, call me, any, anytime!_

_Call me, my love!_

_You can call me any day or night!_

_Call me!"_

Kaoru wore a big, stupid grin on his face. Even though you would think Hikaru to be the one to blast music (even when the headphones where in his ears) it was Kaoru who did it. Hikaru usually kept it quieter. He always wanted to hear what people were saying while Kaoru listened to music to block people out. Therefore the lyrics and guitar riffs drifted through the halls until Hikaru had his ear pressed to the door.

"...What the hell has him all happy?" Hikaru mumbled.

The very second the limo came to a halt, Kyoya lurched up and out. "What the hell did I just do!?" he mumbled angrily at himself as he stalked up the staircase to his room to take out his anger on his couch.

Eventually, a thought hit Kaoru. What would happen tomorrow. What is Kyoya was going to act like it never happened? What if he didn't acknowledge Kaoru at all? What if Hikaru found out? Shit. That last one would be the worst by far. Kaoru thought.

After a moment or two Kaoru had an idea and pounded his fist into his other palm. "That's what I'll do. I'll talk to Kyoya-senpai." As he said the name he blushed again. Lucky for him, Hikaru had gone down to get food a few minutes before.

Without the measliest thought of hunger, Kaoru turned over in the bed, flipped the light and fell asleep.

_The Next Day..._

Kaoru was anxiously tapping his toes. Hikaru ignored it. They sat at their shared hosting table and Kaoru was waiting for a chance to speak with Kyoya, who seemed to be his normal self. As if it hadn't ever happened. So absorbed in his thoughts was Kaoru that he barely heard it when Kyoya finally announced that the Host Club was closing up for the day. Immediately, Kaoru jumped up, excused himself, and walked toward the back of the room. He exchanged a swift glance with Kyoya who followed a minute after Kaoru. When Kyoya came into the dark back room, he felt someone grasp his tie. The same person pulled him down and kissed him. He knew the lips. They were soft and hesitant despite what their owner had just done. Kyoya quickly regained his wits and kissed back for a moment before the person pulled away. As he'd thought, it was Kaoru. His porcelain cheeks were brushed red and his eyes were cast downwardly. Kyoya nudged the bridge of his glasses into their place upon his nose.

"Kyoya-senpai..." came Kaoru's soft and now nervous voice. "Yes, Kaoru?" replied the raven haired boy. "Arigatou." was all that Kaoru said before ducking back into the main room. And for the first time in along time, Kyoya felt happy.


End file.
